Saturday, February 18, 2012

The GOP forms a new civil rights organization

AP--Washington, D.C.: The Republican National Committee today announced the formation of a new civil rights organization: the ABLU (American Billionaire's Liberties Union). According to RNC Communications Director Sean Spicer, "All real Americans know that our billionaires are the main source of all that's great about this unique country. Yet foreigners like Democrats and Kenyan secret Mohammadens have conspired against America's Billionaires, oppressing them and demonizing them. 

"But billionaires are emotionally fragile. If we criticize them, expect them to follow the same rules as the rest of us, even tax them like the rest of us instead of letting them run their corporations out of mailboxes in the Cayman Islands...they will have emotional breakdowns and quit being the job creators. And then what will happen to their factories in China? 

"The ABLU will stand up for this oppressed minority, and strive to keep America structured entirely for their benefit. And then we'll all benefit from trickle down economics, with the crumbs occassionally falling from their groaning tables like manna from heaven for the rest of us.

"Our ABLU motto is "We hold it to be self-evident that all men are created equal. But some men are more equal than others." 

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